Ah, the dinner party invite. Whether it’s cocktails at a chic apartment or a multi-course meal at a friend’s mansion with music just loud enough to feel festive but not so loud you can’t hear your neighbour, there is an art to being a fabulous guest. Trust me, your host will notice—and appreciate—the effort. So, let me walk you through some candid tips!
1. Timing is Everything
If the invitation says “Come for 6 pm,” what it really means is arrive at 6:15 pm. Never—ever—show up early. I don’t care if you’re best friends with the host or their long-lost cousin; there’s a lot happening behind the scenes before guests arrive (think last-minute tidying, lighting the candles, pouring that first glass of wine…for courage). On the flip side, don’t be that person who rolls in at 6:45 pm. Being 10 to 15 minutes “late” is perfect—it gives the host a moment to breathe, but doesn’t leave them wondering if you’ve forgotten altogether.22
2. Never Show Up Empty-Handed
It doesn’t matter if the host insists, “Oh, just bring yourself!” Bring. Something. Always. Here are some tried-and-true suggestions:
- Flowers? Fabulous! But make sure they’re already in a vase. The last thing your host needs is to rummage through cupboards looking for something to put them in while simultaneously trying not to burn the hors d’oeuvres. Pro tip: A clear, straight-edged glass vase is timeless, and the host will actually reuse it.
- Wine? Lovely. Just remember: if you bring a bottle, assume it’s a gift for the host to enjoy later. If you want to drink it that evening (and who doesn’t love a glass?), bring two—one for the night and one for them to savour another day. Thoughtful and generous.
- Candles, specialty olive oils, or a jar of fabulous preserves also make thoughtful tokens that say, “Thank you for having me,” without being over the top.
3. Be a Gracious Eater
Not to be dramatic, but being picky at someone’s home is…not cute. A good host will usually ask about dietary restrictions beforehand, but if you’re at someone’s home for the first time, that might not happen. Whether the food is your favourite or not, be grateful. Someone cooked for you! Compliment the meal, smile, and at the very least, try everything. There’s nothing more awkward than someone dissecting their plate like a science experiment!
4. The Lost Art of the Thank You Note
Texting “Thanks!” on your way home is fine, but you know what’s fabulous? A handwritten thank you card. It’s old-school charm that never goes out of style. If you had a lovely time (and you probably did, especially if you followed this guide), send a little note. It’ll make your host’s day—unexpected kindness always does, and you guessed it, you can browse our elegant and timeless stationery on JH, because sometimes you don’t need a thank you note with rhinestones and feathers on it!
5. To Clean or Not to Clean?
Always offer to help clear the table or wash a few dishes—it’s polite. That said, as a host myself, I believe guests should not have to lift a finger. But every host is different, and offering is never wrong. If they wave you off with a, “Don’t worry about it!”—graciously accept and enjoy another sip of wine or slice of dessert.
Being a good guest isn’t complicated—it’s about showing up with warmth, kindness, and a little consideration. And who knows? With manners like these, you’ll not only be invited back—you might just become the favorite guest.
See you at the party!
— Jonathon Hawes xx
